i don't want to grow up, and i don't want other people to grow up. i don't want to scroll down my facebook feed and see people getting engaged, and then married and then have kids...

i want us to stay in this blissfully young and free place forever and ever.

it's a little inhibiting, cause there are so many things waiting for us that accompany aging. marriage and having children are adventures akin to traveling the world. i'm just scared. of what, i can't be certain.

when i decided to come to georgia tech instead of ucla, i was scared my dreams weren't going to come true. however, the people i've met here have made my freshman year completely and absolutely unforgettable. notably, my crazy, amazing, beautiful novice women's crew team and coaches, my grand challenges friends, and my grand challenges big and my crew big.

i love each and every one of these girls with all of my heart. i don't really know where i would be without them. we all come from such different backgrounds, different places in the usa, different ethnicities, different creeds...but we love each other so much that my heart is bursting at the seams. our coaches, maddie and alyssa, work us so hard, but they've become our friends. it pains me dearly to know that we'll never be like this ever again (people study abroad, co-op, move far far away and stop coaching...). on our last night in panama city for our spring break trip, we all signed a paper lantern to light up into the sky, tangled-style. as we were huddled around the lantern, and the sea breeze blew past, and the memories of an amazing week crossed my mind, i started crying, because i was so catastrophically in love with that moment. i will never take these moments for granted. they've been inconceivably beautiful. thank You, Lord, for blessings that only a few can say they've been blessed with. God, how much i love rowing and these girls. 

this is my grand challenges big, patrick. God, how much i love him. he has this aura about him that immediately brings sunshine to every room, every conversation, every life. i'm so glad that he's a part of my life. he's so passionate about grand challenges too, and changing the world. while he's so bubbly all the time, he's really down-to-earth too, because he taught me that it's extremely important to pinpoint what you're passionate about, and then chase after it with everything you have (because it's purposeful to you and only you, and nobody else). he always makes me feel special and important and loved. and...it happens that we're on crew together too. so, so much love to you, my big brother.   

alec and gemma! my crew family! we're novice and varsity "buddies," and by buddies, i mean, like, big/little relationship. just like patrick, alec has adopted me and showered so much love on me that i don't even know what to do. i was elected secretary for the crew team in january, and alec (who was secretary before) has held my hand and guided me through every step of what i need to do; he never fails to make me feel important or loved. i don't think i've ever met anyone so selfless and willing to put aside time to help others like him. in the meantime, we've become really great friends too, and i can also call him a big brother i've never had. i don't know what i've done to deserve such amazing people in my life. so much love to you, big brother. 

thank You, dear Lord, for the incredible people in my life. thank You, thank You. thank You.

My sweater smells precisely of the same laundry detergent that the band moms would wash our bibs and jackets with. Just a whiff and I was in the uniform closet again. The snares were pit-pattering outside again.

I really do miss marching band. I'm really glad that was part of my life.