Today is the eleventh anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Naturally, America and the American side of the Internet simply buzzes with pictures, poems, essays, quips, "never forget's". I  had scrolled down my Twitter feed to the first few hours of the day, approximately when Dr. Richie gave his morning announcements over the intercom, and noticed the rapid fire.

"9/11 <3 br="br" forget="forget" never="never">
"I can't believe it's already been eleven years."
"Remember the brave men and women who gave their lives during 9/11."

I'm blogging because I am a shameful, guilty, oblivious excuse for an American teenager. Today, I barely even thought about the events that occurred eleven years ago, and was only reminded of them whenever I saw the American flags . "Why are there so many...oh."

I used to think that I had an excuse for this: I was so young when it happened, and the entire significance of it all never completely matured in my mind. There was no initial shock or shift in how I lived my life...I was barely seven when Islamic extremists decided to fly airplanes into American monuments. I had no idea what was going on. Ever since I had a clue as to what it meant, I've been trying to find other kids my age who feel the same way I do, but it doesn't seem that way.

I don't remember where I was when it happened. I don't even remember the first time I had heard about it. I don't remember watching it on TV, or about it on TV. I don't remember reading about it or what I had been doing on that day. I don't remember it at all, and I don't know why. I just feel like I missed out on something huge. It affects me as much as reading about it in a history book.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close was really one of the first exposures I had to the emotions and events and aftermath and humanitarian consequences  of the 9/11 terrorist attacks, and that was last year, on the tenth anniversary. I was trying so hard, so desperately, to find a way to feel the same emotions about 9/11 as everyone else, and while the feelings were tapped for a little while, they're gone now. I would have to read the book again. It seems so wrong to me. How could I have missed out on something so huge in my life, and barely remember it happened at all?