suicide song phase...again

remember when i was deeply in love with "don't jump"?

"lullabies" by all time low has been the song for my evening. but i can hardly listen to it, because it makes me weep, and homework is best without tear stains blotching the pencil. gaskarth did good, once again.

i have a new guy friend!

okay, so there's this new kid who moved into my neighborhood like this summer, and he's also in eighth grade. he sits in the seat in front of haley and me on the bus, and since haley and i are wild on the bus, he constantly looks back at us like we're creepers.

well, apparently, he doesn't think that. because one day, i was trying to tell him something, but i didn't know his name. so i was like, "hey, what's your name?"

he smiled and said, "nick. what's yours?"

i smiled and said, "renee."

"hey, renee. what's up?"

i like...sigh of relief, because i like seriously thought we were total nerds. xD
but then, i tell him what i had to tell him, and then during the bus ride, he like talks to me. he's so nice, it's not even funny.

and then today, he was talking to jessica (supporter of abortion, screw her! DD:<) and then i peered over the seat. he then was like, "oh hey, renee. hey jessica, renee's my new best friend." and he gives me a high five.

repeat this afternoon. i got free six flags tickets from drew (but i don't go to six flags), but i offered them to nick. he said he didn't want them, but then this other guy took them. he then said good-bye to me in a really sweet and cheerful way.

eek! he's such a sweetie-pie! do you think i have finally found a good guy friend?
perhaps he could go to the eighth grade dance with me if matt is unavailable. ;)

Don't Read This Post

and yet, you do anyway. :sigh

i'm just here to complain because i am too lazy to go upstairs and chronicle in my paper journal.
i had a tournament yesterday all day, so naturally, i exerted my body way more than i normally do. i am so sore, everywhere, all the time. i can't move hardly anything without feeling the pains. that is all.

Juliet Simms

i once was in love with nastia liukin and idolized her because of her grace and determination.
i still do, but now that the olympics are over, that phase has deflated a little.

now i am in juliet simms mode.
i first heard of her when i heard "remembering sunday" by all time low. i quickly went to her myspace and heard "hush." at first, i thought it sounded weird and didn't like it.

i heard it a second time when haley and amanda questioned who she was.
still didn't really like it.

then on my sister's birthday, i was listening to it again, and i really payed attention to the lyrics, and i was astounded. she was magnificent! it was stuck in my head the whole day.

i heard it again today, and again, and again, then i listened to "parker" and "unhearted" and "makeup smeared eyes" and i was just agape in wonder. who said haley williams was the girl in punk rock? juliet simms totally pwns!

she's so incredibly talented and pretty. her music is definitely not immediate fall-in-love kind of stuff, but it's strangely addictive once you get hooked. i love it. i am now going through a temporary automatic loveletter phase now. poor manda and haley. xP

MAYDAY

and honestly, i have been begging for a reason to start believing.
and in just a moment, this will be a memory.

that some of these days, we can just relish in good music, the soul of our being, and that we can understand who we are and exactly why we are here. how we can unravel the complex knots in the dreadful hours of some days and slow down the glistening joy we glow on others.

mayday parade. i drink to you. because your music has helped me solve some engimas i never thought i possibly could.

VENTVENTVENT

i hardly write in my real diary anymore, let alone this blog.
i just came here to vent about alexander william.
and my real diary has no idea who alexander william is. but you probably do. because all time low is becoming more and more popular every day.

but no matter, i won't dwell on that.

coffee shop soundtrack: all known and loved. not everyone knows it was his affair with a married woman. no matter. that's not my point, and i am over that (having found that information a couple months ago, actually).

but anyway, i have this tendency to like a song without really thinking about the lyrics. i know there's something deep and meaningful about the song, but i'm just too lazy to figure it out, so i just like it. i usually find out the meaning myself by randomly writing the lyrics on homework or something. and then it's like...revelation. it's like, "hey, i know. and...holy crap...THAT'S AMAZING."

just had that with css. great song. i have dug further into the depths of it by that random writing technique. and...i dunno. i all of a sudden feel MAD. VERY MAD. AT ALEXANDER WILLIAM.

that he can write such deep lyrics about something so shallow? that he can soften my hard heart by being a full-blown party animal man-whore? that he captures my attention just by opening his mouth?

I DON'T KNOW. AND I WILL GO CRAZY. I HATE HIM.
HATE HIM I TELL YOU!

:cry