I So Hate Consequences

"And when the doors were closed, I heard no 'I told you so's,"

"I said the words I knew you knew:

"Oh God, oh God, I needed you. All this time, I needed you. I needed you."

-Relient k

So, let's see...
I have just taken my father's purse and spent the lot, drinking and wasting my time and life until there is absolutely nothing left. I have lost contact with my father ages ago because I could care less about the lecture he would give me because of my actions. But the money is gone...

"Father! Please take me back!" Rapping on his front door, begging for a second chance, certainty in my heart that he would turn me away and exclaim, "You have brought this unto yourself! I cannot help you. I do not know why you are here to beg for my forgiveness."

He opens the door, shocked to see me with an expression that it was all this time that I needed him. I needed nothing but his love. His love. Oh, my attempts to come here were in vain...

"Oh!" He throws his arms around me, clearly a reaction that was unexpected. Could this be? "I missed you son, why didn't you come home?"

"Because I knew you would not accept me. With all I have done, how is it that you still want me?"

My father brushes the tears off of my stained cheeks, expressions of a feeling of an unforgivable mistake. "I love you." He hugs me and I grit my teeth, struggling to withstand the rising feeling in my throat, pushing, shoving, wanting to get out-!

"F-f-father!" I cry out and hug him so hard to get the point across that I missed him so much. "I love you too!"

All this time, I needed you. Oh God, oh God, I needed you...I needed you.


This is a story I whipped up in two minutes about "I So Hate Consequences," by Relient k, a song about the Prodigal Son. I cry whenever I hear it, especially the "Oh God, oh God, I needed you." Whatever we do, no matter how extreme or radical it may be, we need God to be our lighthouse in the storm. I cannot imagine a life where you have not stumbled upon obstacles. Only God can lead you out...all you have to do is surrender and let Him show you the way.

HAHAHA

Wow, I'm becoming an avid Bloggerer now. :)

Anyway, I just came back from softball practice, and there is my assistant coach named Charles. Everyone on my team believes he is extremely...captivating? I dunno, I want to avoid using "hot." Well, he is handsome, but he seriously needs to get a personality. Besides, he's too old for us: 19.

I try not to look at him because I just...don't, because I don't want a person whom everyone believes is attractive to distract me from focus on the game.

So, he was doing soft toss with me, and every time I hit the whiffle practice ball thing, I would unintentionally back up. Soon I got so far away I couldn't even hit the whiffly ball, and he beckoned me to come closer, with Tessa, my teammate, saying, "Hey, why do you keep backing up, Renee? Are you scared of Charles or something?"

When we were picking up the whifflies, I whispered, "Yes!" I'm afraid he might have heard it! He's always done what I have done to him (avoiding with a smile in the back of your head), but maybe he got that I really dislike him. Not that I really mind, as I could really not do with guys in my life (ahem, my guy friend). Since I constantly forget to look at the ball when I swing and I miss, he has to remind me to look at the ball (!). I see it gets on his nerves because he does it so often. Oops.<:)

Proud of Myself

We were doing warm-ups in Language Arts yesterday, and the prompt was what you were most afraid of. I was so proud of it ( kill me) that I am posting it:

Is it possible to be afraid of fear in itself? When one asks me what I fear the most, it is difficult to come up with one answer, as I am deathly afraid of caterpillars, pain, kidnappers, and amond countless other things. Why am I scared of so many things? To be such a "fraidy-cat" is like an instable, panicky person, right? But is it that I am afraid of something that wraps around all those things?
I believe I am afraid of feeling afraid, where my loved ones or I are not in a secure position and there is always a jeopardy of our safety. To feel like I am not mostly surrounded by a web of unity and where everyone is there to helo everyone else terrifies me, and I believe that because of this, we should all be willing to aid another if the situation calls for it.

The vocabulary and diversity of language isn't all that great, but my teacher thought that the concept was brilliant. I guess I'm more of a novelist than an essayist(?).

Hayley Williams

Have you noticed how Hayley Williams of Paramore seems to be the "leading lady" of the punk rock/alternative music industry? Because there seems to be no other girl in a band and she's so outstanding and alive, a lot of people use her in their fanfics and look up to her. She's not "bad," so she's an excellent role model.

I like her style too. Her orange hair is HOT, and she wears a lot of eye makeup, which I like too.

But didn't the guy on that movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off that wearing too much eye makeup makes you look like a whore? Well, I guess it kinda does. :D

AUSTRALIA!!

You know how it is my sole mission in my life is to go to college at Cambridge, visit Venice, and then move to Brisbane? AUSTRALIA IS CALLING ME. I have family over there, and I have only been to Australia once, but it's going to be my home quite soon. Count on it.

Well, I have created a song about it! XD It goes to the tune of "California" by Hawk Nelson. Woot!

I only have the chorus:

Let's pack up and move to Australia!
She's got lots of friends out there!
We'll hug koalas and pet lots of roos,
Look at hot guys and be in a good mood!

Isn't that awsome?!